Golden Simmons

You’ll be pleased to know that after auctioning his kidney stone last week for a prudent US$15,000, Kiss bass player, tongue flailer and chronic poon Gene Simmons has made headway into the urinal cake game.

Dive bars across the US have been equipped with ‘Gene Simmons’ brand urinal cakes, enabling members of the public to drain their main veins on a mug shot of the rockstar’s head.

Quote Simmons from his website: "For all of you who have always wanted to pee on my face, now you can." The cakes are a promotional bid to gain an audience for fresh TV show ‘Gene Simmons Family Jewels’ and apparently serve up backtalk upon urination.

Never short of an idea, nor a way to make a fast buck, recent developments in the star’s career are confirmation that Simmons is bereft of kidney stones and a functioning soul.

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